A Great Way to Start the Day #12

IMG_2646.JPGA Great Way to Start the Day #12

Getting up early, and working from home with the sun shining through the window is a great way to start my day!

My dog is lying at feet and his warmth is radiating through my toes. My horses are visible through the window. They too are enjoying the late winter sun and are falling asleep as the stand in the warm, soothing light.

Today is going to be a great day! It’s full of promise and hope for a bright future.

Go and do what you need to do and make the very best of today….make it AMAZING!

 

Advertisements

A great Way to Start the Day #8

 

A GREAT WAY TO START THE DAY #8.

I teach dance because I love it.

I leave studio feel alive, full of joy and amazed that I get paid to do something that fun.

Even though I don’t get paid that much and it’s not my main source of income, I won’t give it up. You can’t put a price tag on joy.

I know a lot of people who make tons of money and are miserable. If you don’t have a lot of money, you probably think that if you work really hard and make more money, you’ll be happy.

But we have it all backwards. Be happy first and then be successful!

If you are happy first, you will guard it  carefully when the desire for “more” starts to creep in; you will acknowledge that you have actuaully have enough if it means that you have to give up some happiness.IMG_7641

A Great Way to Start the Day #7

What better way to start the day than receiving a gift in the mail?

A friend of mine who knows Jonathan Field (a natural horse trainer who I very much admire) had him autograph his beautiful, hardcover, at liberty training book and send it to me. It was truly one of the most thoughtful and wonderful gifts I’ve ever received.

Giving a gift for no other reason than because you know the recipient will enjoy it is a wonderful way to spread joy in the world.

Today is pay-it-forward day. Send someone a gift today for no reason and brighten their day. It could be a single flower for a coworker having a rough day or a surprise coffee for your husband or wife.

Joy and hate both spread like a virus. Which would you rather send out in the world today?

bd0f26c8-63fa-4ecb-97c2-749e6a5cb590

A Great Way to Start the Day #6

How about a trip through the Canadian Rocky Mountains?

I’ve made this trip probably hundreds of times in the past ten years and I may have started to take it for granted.

I’ve forgotten that millions of people will never see the magnificence of these mountains, or the brilliance of the white peaks against azure blue sky. How many people will never see grizzly bears, moose or elk either?

What ever your view is, its unique to you, your life and your experiences. Never take what you have, or more importantly, the people in your life for granted.

There’s someone out there wishing they had your life so be grateful rather than envious and enjoy every moment!

Recognizng Your Own Worth; Why It’s the Most Important Thing You Can Do

Sometimes hearing your own voice screaming, you’re worth more than this, can be the hardest thing you will ever do.

A few nights ago, a friend of mine called, desperately reaching out of the dark vortex of pain that was enveloping him for a hand or comforting voice to anchor him back to reality. He was in the middle of a break up, pacing his apartment and drowning in that horrible anxiety that reaches up from your gut and feels like it’s crushing every organ as it insidiously winds its way through your body.

Almost a year ago to the day, I experienced that same horrific, smothering anxiety; the same indescribable pain that leaves you sobbing on the floor, unable to stand. I knew there was little I could do for him in that moment except listen; nothing will ease that terrible pain except time. Nothing.

How ironic to be here at this moment, I thought to myself. The memory of my pain resurfaced and I ached for my friend, knowing what the next hours, days and weeks would bring. There was something haunting yet strangely gripping about watching the same situation replay from the outside this time. I was reminded of the Sandra Bullock movie Lake House and how the hero was five years ahead, aware of everything that was about to replay in her time.

Why had life brought me back here? Was it to help my friend through the next dark days and share what I had learned or were there lessons that I still needed to learn?

I listened as he talked about how he suspected that she was cheating because she lacked desire for any kind of intimacy with him, made every excuse possible to not spend time with him and treated him with general indifference. In the same breath he would say that he loved her so much, he couldn’t stand the thought of living without her.

There must certainly be some truth to the saying love is blind because anyone reading this would wonder why he would want to stay in a relationship like that?

Finally, I gently asked, “Chris, do you know your worth?”

“What do you mean?” came the hesitant reply.

“I mean, you have value as a person and she does not see it. You deserve to be treated better than this; you matter Chris! You deserve a woman who can’t wait to come home to you. One who uses any reason possible to touch your arm in the kitchen, kiss your cheek when you are watching TV or snuggle close to you while she reads a book.”

Typical to someone who is in relationships with a partner who does not see his value, my friend went on to describe her good qualities like how nurturing and kind she is to his young son.

“That is a very important quality in a partner but you are side stepping that fact that she doesn’t cherish YOU. You are a good person, a great father and good provider. If you knew your own worth, you wouldn’t allow someone like her into your life because she is not good enough for you.”

When we don’t value ourselves, we place our own needs and desires last in the relationship.

I don’t know if Chris understood what I was talking about that night. Recognizing your value as a person and expecting people to treat you accordingly is a process that some of us struggle with for most of our lives.

We seem to have to get knocked in the head with the same lessons over and over again until we finally learn. If we are willing to examine and embrace situations as they come to us, we will find that life has a strange way of blowing away the fog of our illusions and leaving us naked and vulnerable in the reality of our truths. It may sometimes be as terrifying as it sounds but this is the place where learning and growing can flourish.

I will have to ask Chris sometime if he grew up as the caretaker of his family as I did. I was so busy protecting and caring for my family and friends that I often put my own needs and desires last; a trait not uncommon with givers. Sadly, this trait has been repeated in my adult relationships over and over again.

I am not suggesting that being nurturing, giving or protective are bad traits. However, the line between being a giver and being self depreciating is a fine one; it can be very self destructive if you cross it.

                                                                Givers have to have limits

                                                                   because takers don’t.

 

Understanding your limits or recognizing when you are simply being used, are all wrapped up in knowing your value. You will never fully acknowledge your value if you don’t allow yourself to fall in love with YOU.

Self love isn’t arrogant, narcissistic or egotistical; it is healthy and necessary.

I personally struggle to accept compliments gracefully. I feel uncomfortable and I want to brush them aside for fear of being conceited or arrogant. However, turning away from praise isn’t humility; it only serves to diminish your presence.

I believe that I am strong, intelligent, creative, kind and resilient so what does it say to someone when I downplay their compliments? It says that I don’t really believe those things about myself. I am a firm believer in the idea that what we think and say becomes our reality. Therefore, if we put out conflicting messages, we are going to bring things into our lives that we do not want.

I’ve said before that I believe we are like mirrors; whatever we project outward is reflected back to us. If we don’t have the love we want, it’s because we don’t love ourselves; it has to come from within if it’s going to come back. If we don’t have the respect we want, it’s because we don’t give ourselves the respect we deserve.

By this token, it is easy to understand that if someone doesn’t see your value, if they don’t treat you like you are the most precious thing on earth, it’s because you cannot attract what you do not nurture from within and radiate outward.

If we think of self love as the foundation for our mirror, we can see how it can be the root of everything we have or don’t have in our lives.

Have you connected the dots yet? I know it was only through writing this article that I was finally able to get it; I guess that means life brought me back because I still had something to learn.

 

Recognizing your value and loving yourself are intrinsically tied to manifestation.

 

If you don’t love yourself, you won’t see your value. If you don’t see your value, you won’t believe that you truly deserve what you want to bring into your life.

Wow, that’s huge.

This week I challenge you to give yourself the love and respect you deserve:

If someone pays you a compliment, feel grateful that they recognize how amazing you are. It’s better than not being appreciated!

Write down all the things you love about yourself and really embrace them. Remember, no conflicting messages.

Set the alarm on your phone for three times a day and say this affirmation:

 

                                               I am good

                                                I am kind

                                                I deserve to be loved

                                                I can trust myself and others

                                                I can forgive myself and others

                                                I am grateful to be me

 

As you begin to really love and respect yourself, the people who don’t see your value will be replaced by people who feel blessed to have you in their lives.

 

Warm wishes for a wonderful week!